Here we go again.

You know what I suck at? I suck at carry on doing stuff. I started this blog in march when there was not that much to do (besides some stupid seminar papers I had to write), because I was on vacation at home and the new semester was still a month before it started. I thought it might be fun. I thought I might practice my English skills writing about some stuff that was going on in my life and through my mind. Well, I did start the blog. I spent hours of searching for the right name, layout and a picture for the frontpage. It took me quite some time to write a single post, not to mention to find the right words in English. I planned some other posts, that I never really ended up doing, because I told myself that I didn't had the time anymore. Also I started to work on making videos this summer. I've put the first one up and was working on some further videos and then again there was some university stuff to work on again and I spent my free time procrastinating and not getting it done. That's quite an issue I've got. I would like to be that person being so super organized and having the guts to getting my shit done, instead I spent two days of watching youtube videos and not reading the pile of texts I should have read until tomorrow morning. So that is what's going on right now, maybe I'll start to write again, maybe I'll finish the video I kind of planned, I don't know. I just know that I'm freaked out about the work I've got ahead of me for the next month. Here we go again.

veganism?

Today I have been to a lecture about veganism (According to the time it was actually yesterday, but still kind of today). It really made me think more about the mentality of our society. Is it really necessary to eat meat on a daily basis? Do we need to eat cheap and fast? Do you think you would continue to eat meat if you had to slaughter each animal you're about to eat?
For me I can say no. I haven't eaten any meat since nearly a year and even before that I refused to eat it most of the times for a few years now. But I refused to define me as a vegetarian, because I don't like the boundary the word creates. Writing that down I have to admit that I've eaten tuna once, but as I ate it I felt kind of guilty, because to me fish isn't any different than other animal and I do like to eat gummy bears and I guess most of them include gelatine of animals. So technically I'm not a vegetarian I just don't eat meat, even though I'm more likely to consider myself as a vegetarian now. I also feel to say you're a vegetarian or you are vegan builts up pressure towards other people and that's another thing I don't like. I hate when people make fun of the way of living of another person in terms of their diet. Me myself accept when people don't decide to change their eating behaviours, but I expect them to show that acceptance, too.
You do you and I do me.
To continue the topic of vegetarian/vegan diet: At first I started to not eat meat not for the animals but for not liking the taste of meat, not actually eating animals was a nice side effect that grew more important from time to time. Last month I started to drink soy milk instead of cow's milk just giving it a try. It doesn't taste the same and pure soy milk isn't that delicious, but it's okay to go with your cereal and there is a huge variety of plant-based milk that tastes better, even though it's a little more pricey.
I'm not sure yet if I'll take the step and try the vegan lifestyle, but I want to be more aware of what I'm eating. That is the aspect of the vegan topic besides the thought of animals being locked up with small amount of space and life quality that I think is the most important.

hello.

Now I'm finally here writing my very first post on this blog. I feel slightly weird writing in English always wondering whether the last sentence was proper English. As you might notice English isn't my mother tongue. I really like the English language, not only because it's told to be an easy language (and I'm quite bad in grammar), I like the sound (and the different accents) and the fact that English is a language that connects people all over the world. At the moment I would really like to go to the UK some day soon. I could imagine myself to spend a year abroad, even though I'm kind of an anxious person, not that I'm having anxiety attacks, but I worry way too much. In addition to that I would consider myself as an introvert rather shy person, which obviously aren't the best conditions to spend a year abroad on my own. On the other side I would really like to do stuff and gain experiences, but in the back of my mind there is always something holding me back. The last few weeks I isolated myself from the outside and there was a lot on my mind, that I'm now starting to sort out. I want to make my life worth living, waking up in the morning being grateful for the day and stop caring about what other people might think of me as long as I like what I do.